Anglican Mainstream

From Micah Towery’s ’Is your Teenager “Sexually Active”?’  on Stand Firm

‘Teens today are caught between a world that tells them they are still children, but gives them all the responsibility of an adult. I don’t know if the “adult world” realizes what sort of situations this thrusts teenagers into, but I can tell you teenagers aren’t ready for it. Most parents realize this, and don’t want their own kids to be thrust so suddenly into the weighty responsibilities of this world. Thus, terms like “sexually active” are used to mentally disassociate, to hold at arms length the reality of what we are doing to our kids, what we are letting them be exposed to. Our children are not having sex with many different people (or the various things that lead up to that), they are “sexually active.” Polls tell us it is likely that our children are “sexually active” or will be in a very short while, and that there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You can, at best, prevent disastrous consequences such as STDs or pregnancies. This is barely a compromise, and, while it might seem like a reasonable response, it ultimately transforms the parents into pathetic wailers, following their children around begging them to “please just be careful,” as if it’s the same as looking both ways before you cross the street.

But the fact is, you’re not even telling your children to look both ways before crossing the street. You’re letting them run across a highway, hoping they wear a helmet, so that if they do get hit, it won’t be so bad. It’s worse than that, actually. Because condoms and sex education can never protect children from the emotional damage they are inflicting on themselves. If a child is cutting himself, we address the physical issue as well as the emotional one. We do not make him wear protective gear so that when he tries to cut himself, he will not be able. Why then, do we not stop our children from being “sexually active” when it is hurting them equally? Because we pretend it is not hurting them. We fool ourselves into thinking we can give them all the tools to prevent harm, while ignoring the larger damage it is doing to our children. If our children avoid pregnancy and STDs, have they really managed to escape harm? Of course not. Those of you who are parents know the enormous responsibility that sex brings into a relationship (or especially the lack of one).’

And now from me.  To reiterate what is surfacing in at least some quarters: Condoms provide safer sex; they do not provide safe sex. Even when they are used properly i.e. they have remained physically intact, and not slipped or been torn or whatever, they do not and cannot  protect against all STDs.  One reduces one’s chances – one does not eliminate the risks!  The Medical Institute is a great place to start familiarising oneself with these issues: http://www.medinstitute.org/index.php

Read Stand Firm here: http://www.standfirminfaith.com/index.php/site/article/9316/

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