Anglican Mainstream

By Sarah Morrison, The Independent

You probably should not ask psychotherapists to divulge what they believe is meant by the term "modern love". The response you get may be enough to set you pining for a Mills & Boon. "Uncertain", "radical", "challenging", and even "nostalgic" are some of the words that will be thrown around. They will talk about the inability to define a notion that is constantly in "flux", but they will also hit the nail on its irritatingly imperfect head. "Modern love has become more complicated," argues the psycho-therapist and bestselling author Susie Orbach, "but it has also become much more interesting."

A quick glimpse at the statistics tells us why. If we align love and romance with marriage, things do not look good. There was a time when 50 out of every 1,000 women in the UK got married annually. Now, marriages are at the lowest rate since 1895. Fewer than 20 women per 1,000 married in 2009 and, since 1981, the number of people tying the knot each year has fallen by a third. But our thirst for desire, romance and life-changing relationships is more prominent than ever before, the experts say.

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