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What’s our message to those who aren’t having sex?

By Timothy Fountain, Stand Firm

“I love my husband very much, but this day to day financial burden, coupled with the lack of social life, lack of intimacy, lack of being able to do much of anything has brought me close to despair.” A woman caring for a disabled spouse.
What is the church’s message to her, especially when it comes to her lament about “lack of intimacy”?
 
She got me thinking about the “sexuality” discussions in the church. We are way off on a gay tangent, really squandering the focus and energy of the church (and, in the West, the state as well) on a tiny and relatively well off part of the population. The UK’s Cranmer blog said much the same this week.
 
And there aren’t just the gay-is-ok-everywhere-all-day advocates, there are the “reparative” therapies and ministries focused on gays – even these got an episode of Dr. Oz.
 
A central argument in all the gay blather is “they can’t be happy unless…” Unless what? In the West, at least, there’s no legal sanction against their sex lives. In some cities, they include their jollies in public parades. They live in complete equality with the straight porn culture as far as sexual expression.
 
Unless they can have “marriage”? How is that a source of deep existential pain? The majority culture doesn’t even care about it that much; straights have been waving the “we don’t need a piece of paper to be in love” banner for decades, or spending fortunes on ceremonies to bless short-lived cohabitation. Meanwhile, more states have made gay marriage a reality; in pretty much all places gay couples can set up legal arrangements that provide most everything obtainable via traditional marriage. So I’m not sure the “I can’t have marriage, there’s no pain like my gay pain” schtick makes much sense.
 
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